All In All

So I fell from the car. Laying there on the ground. Watching the smoke rise on this broken evening. There he sat in that car. Broken. Dead. Wishing. Waiting for him to be okay I was so close to being convinced he was gone, but I had lingering hope. I needed him to be okay. I need him here today. It all fell apart so quickly. Scattered around me the broken remains of a brotherhood. Slid right off his shoulders, onto the ground and flew into the air, to make the beautiful pheonix he is, fly. Finally those wings spread and he departed into a better place, now all that's left is for me to say. I miss you...

You showed me many things, and I took them all to heart. Now I'm going to run off of the deepest lesson you taught me. "She loves you Danny. Keep her close." She's staying close. I'm pulling her to me and never letting go. Things get hard and shit happens, but
All in all
She's what I've got. What I'm setting everything on. My life with her. How she makes me feel. The smile she placed upon this face. The deep happiness she sets into these bones. I'm shouting it to the world and giving her everything I've got. She cares. She loves me. She's here for me, and she wants me to be in her life. She's more than I could ever dream of, and she's everything I was always searching for. My pheonix flies these skies and shows love to this world. She gives my heart a beat. Lets these eyes open each morning. Now it's about time she knew she did all this.
Babygirl, I love you.
You are my everything.
And someday we'll have those kids.
We'll own that house.
And...
All in all.
You are my angel.
You'll rise too.
You'll fly too.
You'll light up this darkened sky.
Just to land next to me and kiss me.
Tell me you love me.
So I can turn to you, reply with an "I love you. You're amazing."
All. In. All.

Find Me

I can feel this sinking. I can taste this defeat. I can hear the damn cries of uncertainty eating away at me. I want to feel alive again. But you're gone. And I have nothing left to say but why wasn't it me instead? I let you burn this hole of insecurity into me for too long now. All I want is out. I want out of this pain. I want out of this life long debt. I need to feel this breath again. I want to breathe again. I don't want to run, she means the world to me, but when I'm not much to live for, why does she stay? Just when I think things get better, they all turn away. I fall to pieces everytime and then you come along into my mind. You shot that bullet through your head, can I follow your example? Or would it be the wrong turn? Would I bring others down with me? Or would this downfall be of all my own accord? Just like soldiers we all fall down. You hit that snare and tap those drum beats, hoping that sweet melody won't falter, but then the muscles tense and fail to keep going, what's left to listen to? I fall everytime I think of you. She won't let me fall anymore, but can't I do the same for her? It doesn't seem so. I guess I could always just hope for the best, give her everything she's ever wished for. Wanting her to always be happy. I need her in my life, but what happens when I die? What if she gets hurt? Why would I do that to her? She doesn't deserve it. She deserves the best. She deserves better than me. All that I am, want and could be. Torn apart from the inside out, I listen to these lyrics. I play these songs. I feel this void. All I want is to be free. Find me somewhere among all this rubish. Find me. I won't suffer. Be broken. Get tired. Or wasted. Surrender to nothing. Or give up what I started. From end to beginning. A new day is coming. And I am finally free.

All For Her

Hannah Avery. You are my life. My everything. All I need and all I want. My words are all I can give you right now, and I'm going to keep giving them, forever. I love you. With all that I am. Your smile, your laugh, the giggles you make, and the dumb jokes you say. The way you act so tough but underneath, you have a soft side. Rough is how you play it safe, but I will always hold my hand out and say, 'I'm here." I constantly miss you, think about you, worry. I want you to be alright and nothing less. We have a long way to go, but I won't falter, and I won't slow. I'll slowly show you who I am, and all that you mean to me. Yes, I'll piss you off, and yes I will leave you speechless in both good and bad ways; but yes, I am in love with you. And yes, I do want to spend forever with you in my arms. And absolutely, I want to always make you smile. Know you're happy. I am in love with you Hannah, and I love you for one main and beautiful reason. You. Are. You. And. That. Is. More. Than. I've. Ever. Dreamed. For.

Where To Start?

Look Into The Glass. Frown. Look Upon The Surface. Cringe. Fall To The Debris. Defeated.
This Is The Morning. The Beginnings Of Sweet Rays Of Daylight Upon An Undeserving World.
Why Did I Get Placed With This Curse? Why Me? Why This Person? God Got Lazy.
For Years I Told Myself I'd Make It Better Than Just The Fallout. I Was Wrong.
I Am The Fallout.
I Am The Wasted.
The Unwanted.
The Unneeded.
Cursing Myself I Turn With Crimson Eyes To The Skies.
Come And Save This Soul Tonight.